This week’s “Star” picked up dirt on several celebrities, from their personal assistants. Here are some of the highlights:

Lady Gaga is “helpless as a baby” and wakes up assistants in the middle of the night to change DVDs.

Mariah Carey can’t operate a microwave, and makes her assistant wash her hair in the shower.

Matthew McConaughey gets “turned on by food.”

Kim Kardashian keeps all the fat she’s gotten removed in a freezer, in case she wants it injected somewhere else.

Brad Pitt draws poop on everything.

Angelina Jolie forces her staff to watch all her movies, and demands positive feedback.

Christina Aguilera constantly pulls out her hair extensions.

Elton John is so lazy that he asks to be wheeled around everywhere.

Mickey Rourke gives a lot of money to homeless people.

Scarlett Johansson is constantly screaming at her mother.

Jennifer Aniston forces assistants to carry fans around so she doesn’t sweat.

Jamie Dornan needlepoints when he’s alone.

Julia Roberts wears her “Pretty Woman” hooker outfit for her husband once a year.

Madonna forces her staff to wipe down every dressing room bathroom with antibacterial wipes before she enters.

Justin Bieber has sex with a lot of his staffers.

Jessica Simpson “acts as if the world is one big open bar.”

Selena Gomez  leaves her dirty underwear all over the place.

Sarah Jessica Parker “religiously celebrates the New Moon every month” and believes crystals “will bring her good luck and keep evil spirits away.”